


Topazes // Orange

by diaryofageekgirl



Series: Femslash February 2021: All That Glitters... [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Collage, Cover Art, F/F, Femslash February, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29229123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diaryofageekgirl/pseuds/diaryofageekgirl
Summary: “A part of me will always be with you, Felicity.”
Relationships: Benjamin & Benjamin's Vessel (Supernatural: Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets), Castiel's Female Vessel/Benjamin's Vessel (Supernatural), Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Series: Femslash February 2021: All That Glitters... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140926
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	Topazes // Orange

**Author's Note:**

> One of my biggest pet peeves with Supernatural is how they have some angel characters with actual angel names (Castiel, Uriel, Anael), and some that use biblical human names (Balthazar, Rachel, Hannah). Benjamin is an offender of this, and in addition to that, there was already an angel named Benjamin from back in season 9, and I doubt Chuck would have given more than one angel the same name.
> 
> For that reason, I've renamed Benjamin for this fic - the name "Benjamin" means "son of the south", and Nariel is the protector of the southern wind. His vessel has been renamed Benjamina. Just going over all this now so that nobody's too confused when they read. ;)

It was a blessed cool day in the middle of an otherwise hot streak of the summer. The sun shone down with all its usual intensity, but Mother Nature decided to be kind that day and offer reprieve in the form of a spirited, cool breeze. The wind danced through the trees, rustling the leaves like the skirts of ladies at a dance, and the grass swayed like the waves of the ocean.

Not a cloud was in the sky, and the roads were good and dry; no chance of sinking in the mud, but it hadn’t been so long since it rained that the dust kicked up and stung at your eyes. Felicity couldn’t have crafted a more perfect day herself had she tried.

She walked alongside her roadster to the edge of town. She had been invited to an outing that afternoon, for the purposes of private conversation. She had two thoughts on what her companion had in mind. Neither option put her mind at ease. She quickened her pace, the wind licking at her dark hair as she walked.

Before long, she was outside of town, and she saw Benjamina a little ways down the road, already sitting astride her own bicycle. Felicity couldn’t help the smile that split her face, nor the quickening of her heartbeat upon seeing the other woman. She hurried as best she could with a bicycle beside her to meet up with her.

Though the two of them had only met a handful of months ago, the connection couldn’t have been stronger. After all, when two people have experienced something that no one else had, they had little other choice than to talk to one another about it.

As she approached, she saw Benjamina’s smile grow almost as wide as hers, and she lifted a hand to wave to her.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’d arranged for such fine weather today, my dear,” Felicity said, her Irish lilt more teasing than ever. She giggled as Benjamina’s already dark skin grew darker as she blushed and ducked her head, embarrassed.

“Not at all; I’ve just been blessed with fortunate timing.”

“Well, I’ll hardly complain.” She scooped up her skirts and swung her leg over her bicycle. She nodded towards her lover, taking note of the wicker basket strapped to the back of it. “Shall we be off?”

With nothing more than a grin as warning, Benjamina pushed off and started pedalling down the road. Felicity followed right behind her. The breeze pushed them along like ships on the sea; the bright sky and cool wind and fast bicycles made her feel as if she was flying.

Actually flying, that is, not whatever it was that angels did. Her mind still reeled over it on occasion. While Felicity’s family were good Christians, she was more of a skeptic herself, not trusting in anything that she could not see for herself or read about in scientific books. And then she had met Castiel. She didn’t remember what the angel had done while she was its vessel, but she remembered the feeling of grace within her, twined around her soul, glorious and infinite. She remembered the feeling of wings unfurling from her back and pulling her through dimensions.

She also remembered after the angels left. Most of them had returned their vessels to their rightful homes and families, but apparently Benjamina had begged her angel to take her somewhere else. Felicity had offered to allow her to stay with her. There had been looks and questions from her family and the neighbours, but she payed them no heed. If asked, she said that Benjamina was under her employ.

Felicity’s parents had been concerned for her since she had moved into a house of her own, so they hadn’t really questioned Benjamina moving in with her. For all they knew, she was a maid to help keep the house clean and to keep her company should she need it. The truth of the matter was that the two of them had quickly fallen for one another. Part of it was the shared experience that the two of them had been through, but part of it was simply that the other woman was fascinating and enchanting.

“Follow me,” Benjamina called over her shoulder, and she turned from the dirt road and steered her bicycle into the grass of nearby field. Felicity followed; the ground was rougher here, which made her bicycle more difficult to control. She was an O’Toole, however, and her family always said they were known for their stubbornness. She managed to get her roadster under control as she followed Benjamina through the field.

A few minutes of biking later and they found themselves on the top of a short hill. The grass was shorter here, and a single maple tree sat atop it, casting shade down on whomever sought solace under its boughs. Felicity felt her face grow warm; this particular hill was well-known by their town as the place young suitors would court their ladies and where rebellious youth would seek out one another’s company. The initials of several young men and women were carved into the maple’s trunk, remembering their love for generations to come.

She inelegantly stumbled off of her bicycle; Benjamina had already dismounted hers and propped it against the maple, and was in the process of unstrapping the basket from the back of it. She cast a smile Felicity’s way as she did so. Felicity fought down her blush and tipped her chin up as she set her bicycle up against Benjamina’s.

As she turned from the tree, she saw Benjamina lay out a soft checkered blanket on the grass and weigh down one end of it with the basket. She looked up at Felicity as she rummaged around in the basket.

“Care to join me, love?”

“When you ask me so sweetly, how could I decline?” Felicity walked over to the blanket and sank down on it next to Benjamina. The two shared a soft smile, before Benjamina turned away to continue searching through the basket. As her back turned, Felicity’s smile turned brittle.

The journey here had been lovely, and that her love had chosen this spot in the first place sent butterflies flurrying in her stomach, but her heart was heavy. Benjamina had been quite serious when she asked her to join her on this excursion, and had told her that she had something very important she needed to tell her. It hadn’t sounded like it was the kind of important that made you happy to hear it.

For the moment, however, Benjamina turned back to her and passed her a bundle wrapped in a large napkin. A similar bundle perched on her lap. She smiled, somewhat bashfully.

“I hope you like it – I wasn’t quite sure what to make, since I’ve never had a picnic before.”

Felicity unwrapped her lunch. For all Benjamina’s hesitance, she’d done an excellent job – cheese sandwiches and fresh lemonade and crisp apples, no doubt from old Grady’s Macintosh tree. There was also a tin filled with shortbread cookies, and near them on the blanket was a spoon and a small jar of strawberry jam to go with them. All of Felicity’s favourites.

That should have made her happy, but instead it just made her trepidation worse. Still, there was no point in wasting good food, or the good company you shared it with. The two of them ate and gossiped, leaning up against one another in a way that would have made Felicity’s mother blush. Benjamina laughed at all of Felicity’s jokes, and Felicity blushed whenever Benjamina pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

All too soon, the food was gone. The two of them sat in silence for a good while, Benjamina sitting up and Felicity lying across her lap. They watched the leaves of the maple ripple in the wind, the grass in the field below them sway, the first few clouds pass across the sky. Benjamina’s hand was in her hair, gently tugging at the base of the strands.

“Nariel asked me to go with him,” Benjamina said softly.

Felicity glanced up at her, taking in the muddle of emotions in her expression. Sorrow, no doubt, and a bit of nervousness, but also a steadfast surety that took her breath away.

“Right,” she said, “your angel.” Her voice sounded funny to her, like it came from across a long distance. Benjamina tipped her head down to look at her.

“I love you. Don’t ever doubt that, my dear. But an angel, Felicity! He said we could see the world, that we could do anything we wanted. I get breathless just thinking about holding the attention of such a creature.”

Felicity didn’t have to ask to know which “we” she was talking about. Even after being the vessel for one, she wasn’t quite sure how she felt about angels. At least Benjamina had that much figured out.

“And what about me?” She hadn’t meant for her words to come out bitter. Nor had she meant for that bitterness to be covered with such plaintiveness. Benjamina smiled sadly at her and cupped her cheek. She leaned in to it; that hand was meant to hold her face.

“Oh, Felicity, you’ll be alright. You have Aleksander.”

“Aleksander isn’t you. I don’t love him like I love you. And besides, we aren’t to be wed until next spring.” She swallowed down the sudden thickness in her throat and sat up. “Must you leave now?”

Benjamina kissed her, right on the lips. Felicity tried, but she couldn’t help but melt; Benjamina’s arm came up around her to keep her from falling, even though she was the reason she was falling in the first place. As quickly as the kiss started, it ended, and Benjamina pulled away.

“You will love Aleksander Novak, just as you love me. Just like I love both you and Nariel. My heart is big enough to love more than one, and if mine is, then yours must be. I won’t ever forget you, Felicity.” Benjamina reached into the folds of her skirt to some hidden pocket. She pulled out a small black box. The sight of it made Felicity’s heart lurch, and she couldn’t fight the tears any longer. She covered her face with one hand and shook her head, even while Benjamina grasped the other.

“No, no, please don’t –”

“Felicity, my love, look at me.” Sobs wracked her body, but she was at least able to pull her hand from her face and cast her sight upon her beloved one last time. Benjamina opened the box. Nestled within were a pair of earrings, topaz and pearl, and more than either of them could afford.

“Please take them. I want you to have something to remember me by.” Felicity nodded, too overcome with emotion to even attempt to speak. Benjamina shuffled closer and tucked Felicity’s hair behind her ear. Her touch was so gentle, so tender with love that Felicity had to squeeze her eyes shut in the face of it. She felt the cool metal of the earrings on her ears as Benjamina put one of them on for her, then the other. Felicity’s hand came up to touch one earring with just the slightest brush of fingertips.

“A part of me will always be with you, Felicity.” She kissed her forehead, and rose to her feet. She reached a hand down to help Felicity up. She stared at it for a moment, barely able to understand what was happening. She grasped it once she got her tears under control – or perhaps she had simply run out of tears to cry.

As Benjamina pulled her to her feet, she followed the momentum through and pushed into her with another kiss. She grasped her face with both hands, putting all of her heart between their lips. She felt tears on her cheeks once more, but a different temperature; she probably shouldn’t have taken solace in the fact that Benjamina was just as affected as she was, but she didn’t care at that moment.

They stepped back from one another slowly, but kept their hands linked together. Felicity saw the question in Benjamina’s eyes. She took a deep breath, and nodded. She wasn’t ready, but she didn’t want to hold her beloved back from what she wanted any longer.

The afternoon sun grew brighter and brighter, until they were surrounded by a brilliant, blinding white. Benjamina tipped her head back and opened her mouth; whatever happened after that, Felicity didn’t see, as the light had grown so bright and hot that she had to cover her eyes.

When she pulled her arm down from before her eyes, Benjamina still stood there. No, not Benjamina. She was too still, her face too stoic to be the woman she loved.

“Hello Nariel,” she said. The angel turned to look at her, his eyes flaring blue-white with the light of heaven for a split second.

“Felicity O’Toole.” He tipped Benjamina’s head to the side. “It is a pleasure to meet you. From what Benjamina has told me in her prayers, you are a remarkable person.”

Felicity blushed. “I don’t know that I’d say that.” She bit her lip. “I… suppose the two of you’ll be off, then.”

Nariel’s head tipped even further and his eyes squinted. “Benjamina has a request before we leave.”

“Oh? And what might that be?”

Nariel didn’t respond. Instead, he pulled out a strange silver blade from Benjamina’s sleeve and walked over to the maple. Felicity followed and watched over his shoulder as he carved the letters FO + BP into its trunk. He brushed away the chippings of bark and wood dust left behind and turned his head towards Felicity.

“She says, that she wants you to remember that she will always love you. That as long as these letters are in this tree, everyone will see that she loves you, even in the years to come.”

Felicity’s mouth wobbled and tears pricked at the back of her eyes. She placed a hand on Nariel’s arm, just above the elbow.

“Thank you. Please let her know that I will always love her in turn.”

The angel smiled softly at her. “She knows that already, but I will tell her.” Nariel took two steps back from her, and disappeared in a flutter of feathers.

* * *

Felicity sat with Benjamina on a checkered blanket, up on the hill under the shade of the maple tree. They ate and gossiped and kissed softly, as they had so many times before. A pair of topaz and pearl earrings glittered on her ears.

Felicity watched as Benjamina’s brow furrowed, confused. She looked around her, searching for something. After a moment or two, her eyes met Felicity’s.

“Felicity?” Benjamina reached out and grasped her arm, her touch hesitant at first but growing bold. “It’s really you?”

All at once, Felicity remembered. Remembered marrying Aleksander, remembered her children and grandchildren, remembered the Great War and getting sick and the heaviness in her chest and the difficulty breathing. She remembered dying. She remembered reliving her favourite moments in life over and over again in heaven.

She looked back at Benjamina, the shock shown on her lover’s face surely just as visible on her own. She covered Benjamina’s hand with her own.

“It’s me, darling.” It had taken over a century, but they had finally found one another again. Benjamina’s hand came up to touch one of her earrings.

“You kept them?”

“Of course I did. You still love me, don’t you?” Benjamina’s expression softened into a look that was so fond, so full of love and joy that Felicity almost had to look away.

“Of course I do.” Benjamina leaned in and kissed Felicity, for real this time, for the first time in one hundred and sixteen years. “Don’t ever doubt that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: Topazes symbolize love and affection, as well has supposedly helping to commune with spirits. They also have a strong association with the sun, and were often symbols of sun deities like Apollo and Ra.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
